Simple Truths – Cut them off
There are people that you need to cut off from your life. This is a simple truth but one that is a hard pill for many to swallow. These people sap and drain your life with little concern for your well being while constantly using you to meet their emotional or physical needs. Cut them off.
Strangely a priest should be propagating forgiveness and love and yet the words from my blog come as an irony in a season filled with love. The truth is that this message IS a message of love; for you! Sometimes love is tough and love demands radical action on our part.
Forgiveness does not mean that we set ourselves up to be stabbed again. Forgiveness means we let go of hurts and pain that enslave us to another in order for us to move ahead and grow. I choose to forgive you but I don’t choose to run into your arms again, only to be hurt by you. You need to grow up, I long have.
So cut them off in order that you may live. Dead branches on a tree of life can never bear flower or fruit and has no ornamental use either. They only end up making a beautiful tree look eerie. Dead branches need to be cut off so that the rest of the tree may flourish and live.
Some years ago, my friend Leon brought this to my attention. I have a habit of collecting dead branches, he said. That’s because I feel sorry for people; people who do little for themselves and like dead branches weigh me down. He saw these people in my life, clinging on to me because their emotional needs were met yet they rarely bothered to reciprocate when my heart was breaking. They take and they sap you always and yet charmingly making you feel guilty that you are not giving enough in the relationship when in reality it is they who give nothing.
How do you know you have dead branches in your life? How do you know you need to cut people off? The answer is YOU SIMPLY KNOW IT BUT WON’T ADMIT IT. Close your eyes and their faces fall before you. They are the ones who discourage you, demand your time, use your shoulders to cry on, always have an excuse for why they can’t be there for you,make you feel guilty that you don’t care for them but are always around when a good thing comes to you and never there when your heart is breaking. You call them on the phone, they never do. You text them they take their time to respond while you check your phone a million times for them to respond. You’re always jumping to make them happy they respond like a cucumber; till of course they need you!
Be warned, the minute you let them go they will say hurtful things to you. They will tell you this is all your fault, it’s you who have a problem and deviously curl their tongue like that of a forked snake to tell you that “you have changed”. Don’t fall for the guilt trip that they wish to set you up to. You have not changed, you have grown wise.
They will feel the loss of your presence, yet they won’t admit that you have raised them up all these years. So they try once more to get you down. They will send you ‘AN’ emotionally worthless message (you are worth many MANY more) but ironically you have been so starved for their love that even crumbs now seem like cake. Reject the crumbs, your better than that.
Don’t fall for the trap, walk away, block them on Facebook and Whatsap and make new friends who love you for who you are. You deserve this Christmas gift.
Fr Warner D’Souza
Compassion not condemnation – Tuesday, second week of Advent – Is 40:1-11
While today’s reading begins with a double command to comfort, I find the season of Advent awfully un’comfort’able. It’s more like a mixed bag of comfort and discomfort. Deep down the feeling is wonderful but on the surface it almost seems to be too good to be true.
If Lent is all about us turning to God, it almost seems like the readings in Advent is all about God bending backward to make us happy. This makes me feel awfully uncomfortable for it should be the other way round. The feeling of being uncomfortable really gets to you when it dawns on you that such love is not merited but freely given.
The reading of today, sung through the season of advent in our Churches, is taken from the second book of Isaiah (chapters 40-55) this section is generally attributed to an anonymous poet who prophesied toward the end of the Babylonian exile.
In 587 BCE Jerusalem was conquered and destroyed by the Babylonian Empire. In fairness this was a well-deserved punishment from God to a people who had made idols their gods and refused to trust in Yahweh. The first book of Isaiah ends with chapter 39 and the unspoken (in this case unwritten) exile to Babylon. While the narrative is recounted in 2Kings 20:12-19, chapter 39 which precedes this text simply finds it hard to even acknowledge this painful historical reality.
Yet Chapter 40 which begins around the year 540 BCE seems to pop out of a dark tunnel of shame like as If nothing happened. It’s as if with one stroke (seventy years in reality) God has had a change of heart for his wayward people. To a people undeserving of such comfort, God insists, if not commands that His people be comforted. There is compassion not condemnation for the exiles and it almost seems like God is repentant of His decision rather than His people of their actions.