Simple Truths – Cut them off

Simple Truths – Cut them off

There are people that you need to cut off from your life. This is a simple truth but one that is a hard pill for many to swallow. These people sap and drain your life with little concern for your well being while constantly using you to meet their emotional or physical needs. Cut them off.

Strangely a priest should be propagating forgiveness and love and yet the words from my blog come as an irony in a season filled with love. The truth is that this message IS a message of love; for you! Sometimes love is tough and love demands radical action on our part.

Forgiveness does not mean that we set ourselves up to be stabbed again. Forgiveness means we let go of hurts and pain that enslave us to another in order for us to move ahead and grow. I choose to forgive you but I don’t choose to run into your arms again, only to be hurt by you.  You need to grow up, I long have.

So cut them off in order that you may live. Dead branches on a tree of life can never bear flower or fruit and has no ornamental use either. They only end up making a beautiful tree look eerie. Dead branches need to be cut off so that the rest of the tree may flourish and live.

Some years ago, my friend Leon brought this to my attention. I have a habit of collecting dead branches, he said. That’s because I feel sorry for people; people who do little for themselves and like dead branches weigh me down. He saw these people in my life, clinging on to me because their emotional needs were met yet they rarely bothered to reciprocate when my heart was breaking. They take and they sap you always and yet charmingly making you feel guilty that you are not giving enough in the relationship when in reality it is they who give nothing.

How do you know you have dead branches in your life? How do you know you need to cut people off? The answer is YOU SIMPLY KNOW IT BUT WON’T ADMIT IT. Close your eyes and their faces fall before you. They are the ones who discourage you, demand your time, use your shoulders to cry on, always have an excuse for why they can’t be there for you,make you feel guilty that you don’t care for them but are always around when a good thing comes to you and never there when your heart is breaking. You call them on the phone, they never do. You text them they take their time to respond while you check your phone a million times for them to respond. You’re always jumping to make them happy they respond like a cucumber; till of course they need you!

Be warned, the minute you let them go they will say hurtful things to you. They will tell you this is all your fault, it’s you who have a problem and deviously curl their tongue like that of a forked snake to tell you that “you have changed”. Don’t fall for the guilt trip that they wish to set you up to. You have not changed, you have grown wise.

They will feel the loss of your presence, yet they won’t admit that you have raised them up all these years. So they try once more to get you down. They will send you ‘AN’ emotionally worthless message (you are worth many MANY more) but ironically you have been so starved for their love that even crumbs now seem like cake. Reject the crumbs, your better than that.

Don’t fall for the trap, walk away, block them on Facebook and Whatsap and make new friends who love you for who you are. You deserve this Christmas gift.

Fr Warner D’Souza

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9 thoughts on “Simple Truths – Cut them off”

  • This is quite a straight message with mixed emotions in it… Well, I do agree. Respecting ourselves and loving ourselves is important too.. One shouldn’t allow others to take them for granted for their goodness.
    Indeed a great reflection father. Thanks for this Christmas treat !

    Reply
  • Rightly said. With this I remember one sentence which I often tell, especially my wife, “Don’t be like chilly so that if any one consumes you, spit out every inch of you and dont be so sweet that greedy will eat every inch of you….

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    • Many were like dead branches in my life.
      I cut them off and moved on, the only strength which came was from Jesus.

      It’s not easy to let go off but it is must for your highest good and helps to bloom your soul in the garden of God’s love and fellowship.

      You get singled out, and that’s OK

      Reply
  • Have been thinking about this for so many months now and your article has come at the right time, Fr Warner. It’s almost like the Holy Spirit Himself talking to me.

    Identified so many folks who sap and drain my energy. While I can let go of them, what do I do if a family member is treating me so? I certainly can’t cut them off because they are the ones who God chose for me.

    Also, if it is a parent, how do I always respond in love coz I certainly want to keep the commandment – Honour your father and mother so that you may have a long life and that all may go well with you.

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  • Rightly said fr. I am following this message right away… Heard a lot of time YOU HAVE CHANGED, but this time i am replying them i have grown WISE. Thank you so much fr explaining so clearly… ❤

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  • 👍 an eyeopener…

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  • Well, it’s a hard truth that we all need to face. I know that I have faced this in my life. Its difficult cutting off from these dead branches, I’ve sometimes been tormented by thoughts and people that doing something like this is wrong. Completely cutting off from them can be hard but with time its nothing but fruitful. It’s the best gift I could have gifted my self.

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  • Very true Father,I remember the quote which says ,”When someone says you have changed,it simply means you have stopped living your life their ways.”Dead branches and negativity are everywhere,I have experienced that in my life.I use to get very angry with those hypocrite and dead branches who drain us down but my Mom says We can’t stop them but we can avoid them or try to understand them that it is their way of living so we can’t change their thinking so I let go that’s what I do.

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  • Hmm.. I agree.. it’s something I try to do but it’s so awfully tough. Guess we keep hoping for the crumbs & accepting them coz we just don’t luv ourselves enough & don’t consider ourselves worthy of much more. Self-concept plays such a huge part right? When we Do develop that we get called Arrogant & what not coz we been giving & giving for so long that people can’t fathom that we probably have our own Needs too & maybe want to do things for ourselves too at times. Very nice read. Thank u☺️

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