Opinion

What Covid-19 did for me – confessions of a priest. 

Today has been the fourth day of my quarantine though technically it’s the sixth and while I continue to be well, I am painfully aware of how this pandemic has played out in the lives of so many people. The loss of loved ones to this disease is fresh in so many minds and fear continues to rule our hearts. The Lord says to us “be not afraid.”

I have displayed little or no symptoms. I did the test on a hunch as my hosts at whose wedding I solemnized informed me that several guests had been tested positive. I felt the right thing to do, considering the congregation I interact with, was to get myself tested. There was no fear when I got the results, just a quiet determination to get well and get back to work as soon as I can.

Covid 19 has thus been for me a time of forced rest; a rest from work and rest with God. Organized as I am, I drew up a daily plan (which ironically also included some work). However, I decided to dedicate a large chunk of my morning to scripture study and to writing; the evening was to be a time of prayer. Covid was telling me something; that It should matter to me that I am available to God than accessible to people every time.

Being the person I am, I have this constant compulsion to answer every text, read ever mail, check every message and be on top of every situation as if my decision would avert a nuclear war. Part of this compulsion and anxiety is also triggered of by the digital age that seems to suggest that every deadline was yesterday; this affects us all.

Recently when I received a second text from an online parishioner for not responding to the question he raised about the three wise men (not that it was important for salvation) I politely informed him that I feel a bit over whelmed with the number of messages I get and it’s not humanly possible to answer all. To this he wrote back telling me that he receives hundreds of messages which ‘he’ dutifully answers. In short, he subtly wanted me to know how incompetent he thought I was and how efficient he was. I refused to turn that one into a pissing contest. I let him have his trophy!

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Faith

Rise and Reconcile – Joel 2:12-18 – PART III

As we prepare for the season of Lent, I would like to reflect with YOUth on the first reading that the Church offers us on Ash Wednesday. Today is the third and final part of the series.

The first reading on Ash Wednesday taken from the book of Joel covers a three-pronged approach to the season of Lent. Recognition and admission of sin, reconciliation with God (through the sacrament) and finally contrition and restitution.

The prophet Joel could be considered rather ‘mod’ for his times. He presents the demonstration of contrition as one that should be practical and not superfluous. Actions have consequences and these consequences can’t be washed away with a song and a dance. Joel begins by commanding the people, “rend (tear) your hearts, not your clothing” (2:12).

There must be a sudden shift of priorities in response to sin. You can’t say I am sorry and go back to the same mess. That’s not what true contrition is. True contrition demands a shift in internal priorities. Contrition is a matter of the heart. You see, contrition is not a matter of spiritually moving a few pieces of furniture in my home  during the season of Lent. It’s a complete move to a new home, a new life.

That is why Joel calls for a tearing, a separation of the heart from its old disordered desires and not just a few cosmetic changes in my spiritual wardrobe. By wearing purple, dark blue or black on Ash Wednesday to Church you can’t get your sin fixed. That’s why Joel says don’t just rend your garment or in our case pick some sad clothing. Ash Wednesday must be preceded by the act of a complete rendering of our heart in the confessional.This is why confessions must be heard before the season and not at the end of the season. We also need to reflect upon what turning to God would mean for individual lives and the whole congregation in the present context.

Interestingly the prophet also throws a curve ball. He says, “Who knows” how God will respond to this lament of ours (2:14). On the face of it, the prophet seems to be offering no guarantee to our contrition. He seems to say that ‘perhaps’ God might give you a reprieve, he might send you a blessing instead of this curse. It seems that not even God’s own prophet is certain what the future holds! Yet for us who believe and have experienced the forgiving love of God, the “who knows?” does express doubt but confidence because we know the heart of God throughout the Bible.

God is always in control but he does not take control of our lives. God does not (micro)manage the activities of natural forces and our lives. God does not control the amount of food you eat because you are gluttonous, nor does he control how much porn you watch on the internet. God does not stop you from scrolling instagram for endless hours….that’s on you! He is not going to take away the adulterous partner in your relationship if you don’t even delete and block those numbers. He is not a remote-control God. From his holy heaven he does not control the choices we make or decide if we should flirt with devil or dance with the angel. All that is on us. In the same way contrition depends entirely on us. It depends on how much are we willing to fight that sin.

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Faith

 Why you need a spiritual paracetamol – Joel 2:12-18 ( Part II)

As we prepare for the season of Lent, I would like to reflect with YOUth on the first reading that the Church offers us on Ash Wednesday. Today is the second part of the series.

Yesterday I stated that repentance necessitates both recognition and admission of guilt of having done wrong; of being sorry for the hurt one caused another. You need to have the guts to say I have sinned and too much of our lives today is lived in justifying our sin rather than admitting and confessing it.

Having done that, one has to move to the second stage; to reconciliation. A mere admission of guilt without reconciliation is like spending hours reading a self-help book, making a million notes and then simply placing the book back on the shelf; doing absolutely nothing in terms of implementation. The reading taken from the prophet Joel is like a runner who must obey the three-step command of “on your mark, get set and go…” You can’t simply move from the first stage to the last or decided you just like the ‘go’ part. Having recognized the importance of admission of sin one has to now move to reconciliation.

The prophet Joel gives us an understanding into this invitation to reconciliation. For a minute put things in perspective so we understand what is really being offered. WE (the stress is on our failure and not God’s) have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Yet he is the one who invites us back into relationship. Take a moment to read this text and let it hit you right between your eyes.

“Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and relents from punishing.”
Joel 2:12&13

The opening words of verse 12 indicate a very frayed and fragile relationship that many young people find themselves with the Lord. It has been so long since we have prayed, so long since we have believed, so long since we have acknowledged our sinful ways….this relationship with the Lord is hanging by a silken thread. That’s how fragile it is. But don’t forget the irony, it is WE who brought this to the edge and it is HE who is working out a deal with the words, “yet even now return to me…”

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The reason why  so many (of) YOUth are miserable –  Joel 2:12-18 

As we prepare for the season of Lent, I would like to reflect with YOUth on the first reading that the Church offers us on Ash Wednesday. This is will be a series spanning over a few days.

How seriously do you take the season of Lent? While this question may be pertinent to all ages, I want to address this question particularly to young adults. So, I ask this again, “how seriously do you take this season of Lent”? What does the Lenten season mean to you?

The Church has a direct message with no compromise. Take your foot off the accelerator, slow down and take the next U turn back to God. But perhaps these lines are so simply spelt out, perhaps the hopes and aspirations of your life are spinning so fast in your head that you just felt compelled to turn up the car radio, pretend you did not hear what I just said and zip off, burning more fuel as you hit a hundred and twenty.

The people at the time of the prophet Joel did the same. The book of Joel ranges from the ninth century to the second century B.C., but most scholars agree that this is a post-exilic book—written after Cyrus of Persia freed the Jewish exiles from their Babylonian captivity in 538 B.C. In your lingo, they were bad kids sent off to a seventy-year banishment and when their sentence was lifted (because God was merciful and not because they had done their time) they returned to their homeland with little remorse. They still had their head shoved up so high into their stuffy egos…or read it as you like.

So God stepped in once again. This time it was not just a couple of rumblers or a speed breaker. This time it was four flats all blowing out at the same time in the middle of nowhere. God hit them with a plague. Yup, the pandemic is not a once in a lifetime event meant for a bygone era. When that too did not work, he sent in an invading army with the hope that they would recognize their folly and turn back to him. He even took credit for hitting them hard. If you don’t believe me, read Joel 2: 25 where God admits, “my great army which I sent against you.”

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Faith

Who told you Lent is all about being miserable?

For most of my adult life I have entered the season of Lent with mixed feelings. Unlike Christmas where the bug gets you by November this is one season you might find yourself shoved into kicking and screaming (speaking metaphorically). One can be sympathetic, even forgiving of those who don’t shout Alleluia when you hear that Lent is fast approaching and ironically even that word is drawn into silence through the Lenten period.

Lent seems to be all that Christmas is not. No lavish food, no décor, hymns that border on dirges and even the colour purple seems to take on a shade darker. The reality is that even though one may truly spiritualise the inner disciplines and joy that Lent invites you to, the external feeling is one of overall gloom. So why is the season of Lent such a wet blanket?

I guess it is the way the season of Lent has been presented to us either by some of the clergy or by local catholic customs and traditions. The former English translation of the Roman Missal had as its collect (opening prayer) for the first Sunday of Lent, these words. “Lord we thank you for this joyful season when you renew our hearts and minds.” Interesting is it not? The prayer speaks of a joyful season. So why is it that this ‘joy’ is hard to find on the morning of Ash Wednesday?

The joy of the season comes from the many things that we can do in Lent. Yes, you heard it right. Contrary to how we have lived our faith in Lent, the season of Lent is not merely a list of what you can’t do or what you have to give up but rather a list of things that you can do.

This is primarily a season (like all Christian seasons) to love more; Christ being the object and subject of that love. To love him more would mean to focus a little less on ourselves. That love can be lived out tangibly in those around us; to love him in the poor as he said in Matthew 25, “what so ever you do to the least of my brother that you do unto me.” So, to put in other words, the season is not so much about what you can’t eat but about whom you can feed.

In order to change our mindset towards this season you need to plan Lent like you plan Christmas and you need to do it at least five days before Lent begins. Sit down with pen and paper.

1. List things you want to do; like pray a little more. Determine a fixed time and fixed place. This will help you be committed to the discipline. Like all disciplines (exercise included) it is hard to start but when you do make that beginning the rewards are sweet. However, you need to change your mindset; prayer is not a punishment it’s a privilege. We have the right to call God OUR FATHER and enjoy calling out to him as many times in this JOYful season.
2. Make a list of people you need to love more; perhaps even people in need of your forgiveness or just your presence. Spend a lot of time with people and if you must use your phone to chat make sure you pick someone who needs your love and attention and not someone whose attention you seek.
3. Make your Lenten Sundays joyful by visiting the sick or lonely. The ‘other’ should be the focus of your Lenten resolutions.
4. Gather friends, family or community and organize a party for the needy; call it a Lenten Lunch.
5. Reach out to a member of the community who could do with something you don’t really need (that’s also counted as almsgiving) If you feel pushed more by that inner spirit, dig deeper. Remember, God loves a cheerful giver.
6. Smile more this season, it improves your face value and makes the world a happier place.

Most of all remember the mandate that Christ himself gave you when he commanded you in Matthew 6:5 1-8. It is call to give up hypocrisy, a call that reminds us that this season is not a time to draw attention to our piety but to HIS love.

EnJOY the season.

Fr Warner D’Souza

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