Simple Truths – When 40% is a 100%
Life is simple, not complicated. Yet somehow we seem to be caught up in a web of complexities that entrap us. We find ourselves descending into a world of negativity, frustration, anger and what have you.
We seek to find solace and peace in things and people and eventually end up despondent, for no one can give us that perfect peace but God alone. And while God is good and divine, we mortal creatures need human elements to draw strength and inspiration from.
The problem is that there is no single person who can satisfy our human aspirations, be they emotional or physical. Perhaps herein lays the problem. While the one closest to us at this moment seems to be a cut above the rest, they still fall short in some aspects of their life and boy do we want them to change!
For years I advocated a fallacy and perhaps preached a burden that weighed people down. I often said that in a relationship one needs to give a hundred per cent which also implies that the receiver expects to gets one hundred per cent. Nothing can be more ridiculous and idiotic and sheepishly I confess that the dunce cap belongs to me.
Human as we are, it is impossible to give to another a hundred per cent in a relationship. Make no mistake, I am not advocating that we lower our standards, I am just stating that often our goals are unrealistic. It is a miracle if you even get forty per cent in any relationship. Oddly that’s the number I advocate these days for a perfect relationship. If you think you’re getting forty per cent from your significant other you are super blessed.
The reality is that all relationships have flaws and you can choose to focus on the flaws or focus on the blessings. The more you focus on the flaw the more the irritation, anger and resentment builds. But when you focus on a person’s strengths you focus on positivity and not negativity. You stop seeing what you’re missing and start cherishing what you have. It’s a case of looking at a doughnut. You could be mad that the centre is empty or joyful that you have a ring of soft spongy well-cooked dough dipped in chocolate.
In a series of articles that I plan to write, I will be sharing with you things I have learnt from people in my life. Are these people perfect? Not at all! Yet each one of them has taught me simple truths that have changed my life. I want to share these truths with you so that you may string them up one by one and make a beautiful piece of priceless jewellery that even money can’t buy.
Welcome to Simple Truths
Fr Warner D’Souza
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