Simple Truths – Look over your shoulder, your soul mate awaits you.
Over the years I have had several young adults tell me that they wish to marry but just can’t seem to find the right person. So I ask them, “What they are looking for?” and the answer is either super vague, because they themselves are confused or it is super specific which makes it impossible to every find anyone who fits all the check boxes.
In a sense everyone seems to be chasing the ideal stereotype of what a future spouse should be. We seem to have some imaginary expectations or even worse, we have set our eyes on someone (who is usually already committed) and hope to God we get an exact match. Explained simply, it means that your probably chasing someone who in turn in chasing someone who in turn in chasing someone.
It’s a vicious cycle that needs to be broken and the only one who can break it is YOU. So here is the simple truth; if someone is chasing someone who is chasing someone, it means that someone is chasing you! All you got to do is look over your shoulder and figure out who that someone is.
And why can’t that someone chasing you be your best friend? You ruled them out because there is no passionate spark? But the reality is that they have everything else in them. They are loving, caring, loyal, always there for you and always thoughtful. You call him or her to cry on their shoulder, share a funny joke and gossip about everything under the sun. Yet they are not marriage material because sparks don’t fly?
The reality is that sparks rarely fly and true soul mates should always be best friends. But our minds have been messed up by the idiot box if not every industry that sells us wishes and dreams, defining what love and life should be. So you end up completely messed up chasing an illusionary world of love and lovers that do not exist.
Some years ago I met a young girl who told me she was looking for a soul mate. She was part of a prayer group. In the same group was a young man also looking for a soul mate. They both shared similar beliefs and values. They socialized together and hung around and yet it amazed me that they were still looking for someone when in reality what they were looking for was staring them in the face. The problem was that they were going by human standards. She was fair skinned and he was not.
So I said to her, “why don’t you look over your shoulder?” Look beyond what the world asks you to see and look as God would, at the heart. She did and they are happily married. Here is the simple truth; there are no perfect people out there and if they appear perfect you should run away from them. Embrace imperfection, embrace flaws, and embrace the standards the world rejects. In it you will find true love.
Look over your shoulder, your soul mate awaits you
Fr Warner D’Souza
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